TTT: My Roommate, Frank
Tonight, I was suffering from writer’s block. I called to my roommate for help.
“Frankkkkkk, what should I blog about tonight?”
“Me.”
Done.
Frank is my roommate. He moved in with Greg and I at the beginning of the summer. We wanted to live with him so badly that we installed a fake wall in our living room and built him his own little bedroom. It was, hands down, the best collective decision we’ve ever made.
Our Dysfunctional Little Family:
To celebrate Top Ten Tuesday, I thought I’d share with you the TEN BEST THINGS ABOUT FRANK THE TANK.
(It was very hard to narrow it down.)
Ya ready for this?
1. He tries to make me a healthier person.
“I’m hungry.”
“You just ate dinner. You’re not allowed to eat.”
“Frank, please!”
“No, you can’t eat.”
(An hour later…)
“Okay, Frank, please can I eat a snack?”
“What would you eat?”
“Half a piece of bread.”
“NO.”
“PLEASE.”
“You can have a banana.”
“Okay.”
2. He loves to pretend that he is British just as much as I love to pretend that I’m British. Rooooight. Cheerio. Roooooooooight. Sometimes, on good nights, we’ll spend upwards of two hours speaking to eachother in British accents.
We have issues.
3. He’s a Little Monster! I came home the other day and he was in the bathroom blasting “You and I” on his iPhone and singing along. Caught red handed. (Frank, I will not publicly shame you by putting up the video of this. I’m such a good friend.)
4. HE IS HALF ROBOT. No, seriously. Half. Robot. More metal than man.
5. He keeps a tumbler of the finest scotch on his nightstand. And he always shares it with me. That, right there, is a true friend.
6. He is LITERALLY a 5-star chef. Okay, maybe he’s not a reaaal chef, but he might as well be! He makes a mean meal. Exhibit A. Exhibit B. Exhibit C. I could go on.
7. He has a green thumb and has really spruced up our apartment over the last few months. He turned our boring, metal fire escape into a jungle of tomato plants, fig trees and bamboo. Sometimes I sneak out there in the middle of the night for a snack when he deprives me of food (see #1).
8. He is the king of Instagram. Follow him (@lankatron) and you’ll see why. When I need filter advice, he always pulls through. (“HEFE OR RISE? TOASTER OR WALDEN?!?!!”)
9. Hes a great wingman. He wants to see me succeed.
“YOU GO BACK INTO THAT BAR RIGHT NOW.”
10. Last, but certainly not least, he knows all of the words to “Bridesmaids.” Yeah, oh sh!t. YEAH, OH SH!T.
Love you, Frankie D!
Public Service Announcement:
Please help Frank out by following him on Twitter (@Lankatron). He’s had his account for over a year and cannot seem to get more than 30 followers. It’s very sad.
He’s funny, I promise.
Three words: L.O.L. I love you and your blog so much.
In high school, I wrote “Frank” on the inside of all my tshirts so I could lift them up and say “Actually, I stole this shirt from Frank,” Billy Madison style (http://totalfratmove.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/5ca49fbfb5ba90d2927d7f85f07ad74d1912453734.jpg). For this reason, I find myself more likely to hook up with guys named Frank I meet when I’m out. So far, I’ve only met two.
Frank is indeed single if you’d like to make it three.
This post made me die laughing. I spent the summer living with 3 of my best guy friends and I can say with certainty that it was the most fun I’ve ever had (and I’ve always had AMAZING roommates, so that’s really saying something). What they lacked in expert wingman skills, they made up for in hilarious antics. I now have the alcohol tolerance of a 21-year old frat boy and I also learned that wrestling matches that are getting a little too aggressive can easily broken up by calling a Mario Party mini-game playoff.
Also, Frank has now become a permanent fixture on my Twitter feed and I couldn’t be happier about it. It appears your public service announcement was a great success!
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