I’m a 5-Year-Old Trapped in a 25-Year-Old’s Body
For the past few weeks, I’ve been begging my friends to partake in fun fall activities with me. Literally. BEGGING. Apple picking. Hayrides. Haunted houses. ANYTHING.
Hi. I’m five.
Needless to say, you can only imagine my excitement at the bar on Friday night when I heard Bull mention that he had plans to carve pumpkins the next day. You heard me. PUMPKIN. CARVING. If you’re thinking “I bet she screamed out loud and then immediately invited herself to join him” you’d be entirely accurate.
(I also texted him immediately to confirm that he wouldn’t forget about me the next morning. That’s how serious I am about pumpkin carving.)
(Please note that this was also the first time I have ever called Bull “Alex” and, looking back, it makes me uncomfortable.)
There are a few components that every successful pumpkin carving party must have and, since I’m feeling generous, I’m going to share them with you.
There are also a few things that should be avoided at all costs to ensure that your pumpkin carving party does not land you in the hospital and/or in jail.
1. Avoid carving your pumpkin on the balcony ledge if you are on the 21st floor of a New York City apartment building.
1.5. Especially when it’s pretty much the windiest day of the year.
2. Avoid using extremely sharp knives, especially when copious amounts of alcohol are involved. (Yes, that is blood.)
I don’t want to brag, but we absolutely killed it.*
Again. I’m five.
Back story: When we were kids, our field trip to the Liberty Science Center was always the COOLEST part of the school year. Hickey seems to recall that they let us spend the night there, but I think that she is either A) mistaken or B) should probably report her little “sleepover” to the police.
For those of you who may not know, the Liberty Science Center is an interactive science museum and learning center located in Jersey City, New Jersey.
I think it’s mainly geared towards kids
considering the exhibit of the month is BOB THE BUILDER, but I feel like we fit right in.
(Some of us more than others.)
The “main attraction” at the LSC is the TOUCH TUNNEL. (I thought calling it the “LSC” would make it sound less nerdy, but I was definitely wrong.) The touch tunnel is a maze that you crawl through on your hands and knees in complete darkness.
Um, how the Hell did I ever do this as a child? I’m 25 and this is still scary as sh!t.
I’m just going to go ahead and skim over the part where we almost got kicked out for taking pictures. Whoops.
Other highlights of the LSC included a room full of BUGS, a graffiti wall, a video booth where we learned how to speak Spanish, and a giant nose that SNEEZED on DiNardo when he went to pick it. LEARNING IS FUN.
All in all, a great weekend spent with great friends doing great things. (I should be a professional writer.)
How was your weekend? What’s your favorite “fall” activity? What should I be for Halloween?