8 Ways to Survive a Hurricane
1. Plan ahead. Make sure to invite all of your friends over before the weather gets bad. If you’re going to be trapped inside of your apartment for 3+ days, you might as well have good company.
2. Prepare a survival kit. Thanks to DiNardo, our apartment was fully stocked with all of the essentials before the storm hit — Sugar Free Red Bull, protein bars, vodka, beer, grilled chicken, a book called “The Survival Guide,” and cigars.
“DiNardo, where in God’s name do you plan on smoking a cigar during a hurricane?”
3. Drink. A lot. I’m pretty sure it’s an unwritten rule — when your city blacks out, you should, too. It’s only been 2 days and we’ve already crushed 10 bottles of wine, a bottle of scotch, and 3 bottles of champagne. Even McKayla Maroney would be impressed.
4. Sleep. There is nothing more refreshing than a guilt-free nap on a Monday afternoon. Or a Tuesday afternoon. (Sorry about the drool on your chest, Tom.)
5. Don’t be a couch potato. Take a break from making back-and-forth trips to the fridge. Do some yoga. Planks. Wall-sits. Sit-ups. Go for a walk when the rain subsides.
6. Cook an obscene amount of food. You can never be too prepared, especially if the power goes out. Warning! This will lead to a mass consumption of carbs/pasta/cheese, immediately followed by self-loathing. It’s worth it.
7. Take pictures. Mother Nature can be one crazy bitch. Document it! Here’s a photo that we took tonight of the New York City skyline, completely dark and desolate. Eery, right? A once in a lifetime sight, for sure.
8. Take off your pants. Capitalize on the opportunity.
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